Cranium Cafe

A New Change

2008-10-10T15:33:00.000-07:00

So sorry - I can't believe how long it has been. Well, last month was a bit stressful & I didn't know how to focus that anxiety into a blog worth reading.

Now I am content. I made the decision to take a new job. It still has to do with education but I help coordinate new programs and curriculum for an Art & science center. I love, love, love it! I enjoy being there. I am excited to get up each day and go. I even take the time to fuss and get ready. The people are so creative. I love the meetings where we just throw around ideas and brainstorm. You can feel the enthusiasm. So many possibilities.

I had to do a lot of soul searching this past summer. My poor devoted friends and family had to listen to me ramble on and on. I like to talk my thoughts & problems aloud. Yep - that can drive many people nuts.I think I talk in my sleep too.

Anyhow- this is a very good turn for me. Keeps me focused, energized and busy. This was God's plan all along.

Summertime

2008-08-18T16:48:00.000-07:00

I am tired of stressing about "stuff!"
We live in the North.
Summer is something you just have to enjoy to remind yourself of when all the cold weather comes.

Why haven't I posted lately- been outside - keeping busy. No schedule- loving every minute. Getting some good R & R.

Every summer we make a list of things to do and enjoy checking it off. This year's list -

1) go to Mexico to visit family (check)
2) go to friend's cabin (check)
3) Go golfing at the par 3 (check)
4) Go to Nature center to find frogs (check), Turtles (check), bugs (check), Fish (check) and watch birds (check)
Bonus points -Got chased by a mean turkey.
5) Rollerblade 50 miles - the whole summer cumulative - OK not at this one but almost half way.
6) Have a bon fire & eat smores (check)
7) Go Tubing & Swim in Lake (check)
8) Move kids into newly decorated bedrooms (check)
9) Kids go to 3 camps of choice (check) - FREE me time!
10) GO kite flying (check)
11) Make a sand castle - OK kids thought a rocket would be funner(is this a word?) (check)
12) GO to a baseball game - next weekend
13) Attend a play (check)
14) See Chronicles of Narnia - Prince Caspian (check)
15) Swim in Pacific Ocean (Check)
16) Go Canoeing
17) Eat more meals outside than inside (haven't kept track)
18) Pick fresh blueberries (check), Corn (check) and sweet peas (check) & Pumpkins (later)

Doesn't get much better than this.
Oh what am I doing about my big career decisions - oh leave that for another day...

A vacation!

2008-06-21T10:32:00.001-07:00

Off for a two week vacation. We are in Mexico and I have found it easy to get away & relax. The weather is great & so is the view of the mountains & lake. It is easy to see why my mother moved here, but I am a convienence gal so this will only be a vacation- nothing more.
I'll post a few pictures soon.

Indecisiveness

2008-06-14T07:30:00.000-07:00

It is a disease with me, I think. I am so indecisive - it is a wonder that I ever finished college, got married, had kids, signed up for adoption, bought a house, etc
I have tons of ideas. Idea gal - that's me! Great plans and love to share then with everyone - maybe even save the world! But when it comes to act on anything- I get cold feet, too risky, suppose I fail, look stupid, do it wrong and negative thoughts like these plague me.

My summer last year was torturous. I needed to take a leave from teaching to clear the brain, regroup. I was so stressed out, it wasn't healthy. Not anything in particular- just needed a change. So belaboring over & over for months - I took a one year leave to pursue some volunteer projects to make a difference & try new skills. It was good therapy until I realized that this change left my future uncertain. Yep, I looked back. My "old" position is not available and the new one I was assigned really stinks - for me. Not my major, grade level, and extra extra work for a part timer.

So now I have to decide to keep this awful teaching assignment for one year (enough to save for China) and hope, pray, hope and pray that my old position will open up, I won't stress out again, have confidence that it will work out. Or do I leave for good and go a different venue in this terrible economic time and take risks, be more assertive, and be a bit more "uncomfortable."

My friend tells me there are not such things as mistakes...I am trying to agree but anxious about my future. I do trust that God has a path for me - it could be to learn lots of lessons the hard way - that is scary. Sure, some day I will look back and see it was no big deal - but at the moment - its very consuming. I am trying real hard to accept the changes- I am just too darn emotional & a bit high strung for some of this.

Today I say one thing - the next day another. I am like this until the deadline comes.
Can you imagine what a joy it must be to live with me????

Crazy Dog!

2008-06-09T16:35:00.000-07:00

Don't let that sweet looking face fool you! OOOOOHHHHH! She makes me so neurotic! Ok short trip for me but my fuse is low and I am trying to save that fragile jar of patience for my two boys who love to test that gray line.

The dog - aka called Coco - I use other words not "G" rated but she just chewed Gman's friend's sandal Crocs. So early the next morning I went up to the mall to get him a new pair. Later that day she chews Gman's shoes that were on the bed to be packed for our trip!

I cannot leave her alone in a room. She has dug craters in my flower beds, laid on the hostas to cool off, and chewed my gardening gloves (they were on a shelf in the garage) How did she get them???

The scariest part is that she still doesn't come when called. She won't bolt from the side door - but my friend left the other day out the front door and she snuck right past us!

Out into the street!

I freaked!

Our other (gentler, trained) dog ran out at a friends house & was hit by a car. So our family cannot go through this again!

I opened the car doors to see if she would jump in instead of playing run away with me in the street. I even got a piece of hot dog but by then she spotted our neighbors cat and ran after that. Luckily, we were able to trap her in the neighbor's garage. I know we need to train her on this. Hopefully this summer we can focus on this to do it right.

We decided to have her stay at a kennel while we are away. I don't want anything to happen to her while we are gone & she can be unpredictable. I had people willing to house sit but I just don't think I can relax enough when she tries to get away.

Yes, she is lovable. Stubborn. The boys adore her. But she has this independent streak in her that we are not use to. Our other German shepherd mutt mixes were a bit more needy and wanted to be near us all the time.

Just like every child is different- every dog seems to have its own personality too.

Quick update

2008-05-29T11:17:00.001-07:00

- we dropped out of puppy class. Our dog is still wild. Couldn't handle having the biggest problem dog in class.
- Was passed up on promotion- dealing with it.
- waiting impatiently for next job assignment.
- Celebrated 17 yrs marriage- we've come a long way, baby!
- Found this year very introspective yet I am seeing the bigger picture
- built my trust in God with stronger faith
- My boys are growing in young adults & each stage give us a new perspective
- still waiting to adopt, never sure if we are going to if it takes as long as they predict
- I have great friends & family support, I have had more coffee house chats with them this year than I have my entire life!

I hope to be back into this blog this summer. I do make up posts in my head but missing some of that old zeal I had to continue. Off to Mexico for 10 days in June to visit my mother. I need this vacation.

Puppy Class! Part 1

2008-04-16T17:11:00.000-07:00

This will be written in part to give you the whole background...so check back weekly...

I've lost the battle but I am going to win the war! We have to join a puppy class to schedule regular training time with our new puppy -remember the 60lb one!

What's the big deal, you say? Pride- that is it. B.K. (before kids) my husband & I enjoyed dog training for a good solid 5 years. Almost 4 nights a week we were out with the dogs: obedience, agility, search & rescue and just plain fun swimming with them. They are a great way to plan for parenthood- really.

We loved the agility. We even had a synchronized team that was hysterical when the dogs decided to give attitude. My dog would just lay down and ignore me- others would start playing. Mot my gal she was always beyond the training. Once in an obedience ring, she yawned. Another time she gave the judge a nice sniff between his legs. We didn't do any breed shows, we never had that plan. Once I saw women curling the hair of a poodle & putting ribbons on the dog. I never spend even that much time on myself - let alone on a dog. I did threaten to do that to my gal if she gave me attitude again.

We weren't really competitive about the training. Never placed in anything with A*K_C* but would get our certificates. Our dogs were always spayed or neutered. So we weren't trying to get the best for breeding. We did have fun.

Some of the best shows were with A*M_B*E*R, American mixed Breeds, aka mutts. They were more our style. They seemed to love dogs for the individuals. Our "mutt" was a great working dog, she loved to please. My Husband & her were quite the pair. She was quick to learn. We trained more positive, used slip collars but nothing like pinch collars or hurting the dog. You could not food train her because she would lose her brain with food, touch & words of praise worked beautifully. She was a special gal too.

Our search & rescue was a disaster. We live a very flat area of our state. No one gets lost. We enjoyed learning how to search & track at first, then we lost faith in our trainer, who just needed to stop lecturing at us & admit she had not idea how to do this. Every week it was different, and any trainer would know that consistency is the most important part to learning. We left the group after a year of being deceived. We weren't as active but did try things on our own. After kid one & two, we had less sleep at nights, less energy and just enjoyed the dogs with the kids.

Each dog is a chapter of our lives. We have special memories for each. Below the white shepherd was my gal: Kimba, and the brown terrier- German shepherd was Tesla. This is their later years.

Who to Give to?

2008-04-10T18:08:00.000-07:00

This is typical. My mailbox is full of groups wanting donations. The pile you see before you is just environmental groups - not even radical ones but ones to safe parts of land, ocean or animals.
I think I only gave to one or two. Now I have been definitely sold on some mailing list.

I use to feel guilty with the little gifts they sent - address labels, wrapping paper, tote bags - and I would donate to send something to cover those costs. But now - I didn't ask for this & it is too much. It is a waste & probably kills more trees by printing all this junk!

We try to be generous. It just seems that it is becoming too much lately. Now we are doing more local donations. Specific to our community or near by city that has homeless shelters & food kitchens. We also give to local animal shelters and to specific school projects. Lastly, not so local but to Star*fish & Love w/o Boundari*s but obviously near to my heart.

PS sorry but it seems that I have been a "once-a-month-poster" and now should have a a little more time this month write more. Although, I still check in with some of you regularly.

New puppy

2008-03-02T16:26:00.000-08:00

Meet our new puppy! Her name is Coco. We found her through an animal foster group. She is about 7 months old and 56 lbs! Yes- she is part German shepherd & St. Bernard. We joke that we got our youngest son (58 lbs) a pony! How big will she get?- about 80-90lbs. - Just enough to keep strangers out.
Very cute & lovable - but so un-trained. I am down two pairs of shoes & a pair of leather gloves. Countless kid toys. She was even creative by chewing on the kids' sled. I think we will need to get horse riding lessons from MG. Does she look ridable enough? ;)

Why a new dog? - We lost our other dog to a tragic accident so one week without a canine was too long. Too emotional to blog.

Back to casual

2008-02-01T15:48:00.000-08:00

I am going to my hubby's work party. It is at a fancy conference center, lots of food, free gambling for tickets to be used in a lottery type of giveaway of some cool stuff. His work has been doing very well. It wasn't like this 5 years ago. They cut back all the parties & fluff. Now- the solar industry is doing well. Viola! We have a party! This is quite the contrast to my potluck work party in a pole barn. Mine was fun and down to earth but his work really spoils people well.

I missed last year's party due to my grandfather's funeral. So I was really excited for this. Get my little black dress out, heels, pearls, time to primp.

Yesterday, I was informed the theme is "sports" in honor of the superbowl. Yuck! So it looks like I'll throw on my red wing hockey jersey (how NOT flattering) and jeans. Maybe I'll sneak off to the sport store and see what they have. I did joke that maybe a Dallas Cheerleader outfit- Yes a joke. Those of you that know me - know I couldn't do it! No matter how much money you were offering...

Paper

2008-01-27T15:29:00.000-08:00

Second assignment for this class was "paper".

Titled: Enlightened

One son said "Take pictures of origami animals." I looked at the crew and asked who can actually make something other than paper airplanes. There wasn't any response.

Second son thought pictures of burning paper would be "cool."
Since I had to have my hands on the camera, I wasn't comfortable with fire in the young'n hands. I know crazy parent- never any fun.

Husband said mentioned the recycling center. I looked at him with my favorite "dumb" looks because it was a good idea!

Here is what I have for class:

Titled: Plastic to go

Titled: Collage

Photo Class

2008-01-22T14:11:00.000-08:00

I signed up for a photography class. It is called Right brain photography. Our instructor seems really good at this. He has been teaching at many area colleges and still keeps a full time job as a scientist. I think that is what peaked my interest besides the need for some challenging fun with my hobby.

I had my first class last week. There are only 7 of us. Three teens and two middle age men and another women a bit older than me. Our instructor doesn't seem to like digital but said two of us can. He said that the benefit of digital is self gratification. Uh - yeah- I agreed plus trying to get a picture of active boys - I want to know I got the memory in some form.

We were told to find a photographer we liked and find one with our similar style. Our first photographic assignment was "Eggs." Interpret as you like but pay attention to the lighting he said.
I like people pictures- expressions and something to bring people out. He is preferring we do studio work to be reproducible. I didn't get moved by this topic. I have attached a few. I had to doctor them in photoshop. These are not favorites (thank goodness for digital to delete later). I did try to get my son to drop the egg and I wanted to get it just as it was cracking on the plate. In my head it looked lovely. after a dozen eggs - it wasn't working. Timing, speed of camera. I do have a digital SLR, but still sometimes slow. Mostly caused by my lack of patience and interest. We gave up.

I hope for something else tonight. We have to share our pictures. This is hard for me. I can put my work online but then I don't have to see if you liked them or not.
Another assignment was to read the camera manual. Tonight is my class, I have pictures and a photographer but only a part of the manual( Very dry...). Just not really enough time.

Strange But True

2008-01-09T17:18:00.000-08:00

I came across some tid bits to share...

A car uses 1.6 oz of gas idling for one minute. Half an ounce is used to start the average car!

It is estimated that 4 million "junk" telephone calls, phone solicitations by persons or programmed machine are made every day in the United states!
(I'd say at least 20 a week at my house)

It takes glass one million years to decompose, which means it never wears out & can be recycled an infinite amount of times.

Forest fires move faster uphil than downhill.

Most lipstick contains fish scales. (ARGH! YUCK!)

Skepticism is the longest word that alternates hands when typing. (Yep.. I just confirmed that)

Over 2500 left handed people are killed from using products made for right handed people! (Now what "products" are we talking about????)

Just for fun- yeah - I'm a geek ....

Not a light switch...

2008-01-03T18:05:00.000-08:00

This seems like a dumb post but I have to get it out. I am not a light switch. I cannot turn my emotions on and off like that.

How many times have you told to forget about it? I try & try but I still think about it.

How many times have you been told to stop worrying? I try & try but I can't seem to think about it.

How many times have you been told to cheer up? I try & try but I still feel down.

How many times have you been told to be patient? I try & try but I am still anxious.

Ok - now these are well meaning people. I want people to be happy or get them to feel better TOO - but all my self talk, inspirational poems, good advice from friends- it just takes some TIME to move on.

I have trouble putting up a good front, I am the lousiest card player- if I have good cards - I'm in. If I am not sure, risky cards, or bad cards - I fold. There is no bluffing with me, that's for sure. So you will be able to read my emotions right away. My body language will give it away. I do like the phrase - what you see is what you get.

Time can be a postive. I appear to have alot more of it lately too. Time to finally view the situation differently. If I avoid it - it festers- not helpful. You also have to have an open mind before actually trying to take a look at the other side.

Soooooo what is the point to this? I am not sure. For my friends & family I've kept in the dark lately...Just be patient with me:) I think I operate more as a dimmer switch.....

Sugar OD 101

2007-12-29T11:59:00.000-08:00

Too much sugar in the house. I am so slothly... I need to move... I was Xcountry skiing before the holiday but my present was new boots. They don't fit so now I am not doing much.

I was going to swear off sugar today but we are going to a neighborhood party & I am in charge of kids dessert...I am baking choc cookies right now. I can't resist the dough.

We went & hung out with my sister & her family on New year's eve. Had some good laughs, good wine & good company.

We took the kids tubing earlier in the day & then a movie. We wanted to "tire them out" - who were we kidding? They were exhausted by 11 but they fought us all to stay & watch the ball fall. Then came the horns & then the dancing & then the tripping & falling over each other becasue "they were not tired". Off to bed by 12:30. I was feeling so " merry" until I had to become the parent again. Talk got serious by 1 am & fell asleep on the granite by 1:30.

Ready for 2008 - fresh start- going to make those resolutions- uhm...tomorrow when I get rid of the headache.

I got this from another blog - but oh so fitting. This was an ad in a 1965 issue of LIFE magazine.
Enjoy & Happy new year!

I started this before New years & finished it on New years day. I didn't change the date.

DOG TO A NEW HOME

2007-12-17T07:47:00.000-08:00

First look at the pictures....

The CRIME....

The CULPRIT...

In trying to keep up with some holiday traditions, we made cookies. I am a bit busy so I bought those slice & bake ones. See kids decorated and we had cookies for Santa- Viola!
Well, this morning apparently the dog got up first and took care of some of them!
My fault for leaving them on the table - but this is the first time she EVER has taken food off the table. Usually we don't leave food on the table - hmmm. I did worry about her sugar intake- so outside she goes until we see the effects....

PS WE still love her and wouldn't get rid of her...The kids were worried that I was selling her on ebay:)

Bell Ringing Bliss

2007-12-12T15:56:00.000-08:00

Tis the season! I have always wanted to ring bells for the salvation army. I tried to a few times as a family but got busy, no interest from home, didn't know where to go, etc. Now that I advise a middle school volunteer group - I coerced them into agreeing to do bell ringing for the holidays.
I (sooooo smartly) signed us up to bell ring for 5 hours on two days! Yep - last Friday and yesterday.

Okay - Friday from 4-9pm. Cold night. There were about 10 kids for the first hour. I told them to bring instruments if they had them. A trumpet, saxophone, clarinet, and flute showed up for entertainment. Of course no one seemed to know the same songs so we had more of a guess that tune among all the other tunes.
all the kids but my own two, all had left by 6 pm. That was pretty long. I still had an hour until the other advisor was going to relieve me.
My son just started playing the clarinet and knows jingle bells & hot cross buns. So after the 100th time of jingle bells, I turned on the "boom box" (do people call them that still?) and played my holiday CDs. My youngest danced, we gave out candy, we sang- it was a jolly time! Time flew!
We actually filled the kettle. OK- the real reason was probably that the store we were in front of had a big 50% off holiday sale. I will continue in my dream world to think I made it up in the ranks of bell ringing. But I should choose shorter shifts next year.

Yesterday was about the same except we had poor weather. It was a rainy slushy blizzard and no one was out shopping with the weather. We did not fill the kettle but my husband joined us and brought us hot chocolate.

I thanked my family for the best Christmas gift.
Let me explain what happened last year.....

Last year, all I asked for was a nice shopping trip as a family to purchase the sharing tree gifts. We arranged this on a Saturday & arrived right around lunchtime. We went to the food court & we let everyone choose their own lunch. Once everyone was fed - off to shop for others- goodwill- thinking of those less fortunate....

We went into a store looking for a sweatshirt hoodie for a teen. I didn't like the quality of what this store had so we left. As we are leaving my oldest complains first- "are we EVER going to buy these?" I patiently tried to explain that it will take time to find the best match. A few minutes later in the next store- my youngest complains next "Are we going to buy anything for US?"
I patiently explain that the day is about others not ourselves and these are gifts for charity. He then asked "Who is this charity person? and Why can't we go look at the toys?"
Then my husband's pager goes off and then he is on the cellphone with work for the next 30 minutes while I am trying to be patient with the whiny kids that don't know why I am looking around a store, checking prices and wish these guys could SHOP.

So I caved. In tears, I told everyone we need to go home that I was just going to lose it.
I got a lot of apologies and they weren't being mean or spiteful - they just don't browse or get a sense of good feelings to shop for gifts. I love to buy gifts. It is more fun than for myself. If this was a sporting goods place - it might have been different.

So my husband suggested I go and spend the afternoon alone- enjoying the time in peace. I ended up calling my 9 yr old goddaughter and she came with me. We had a delightful time! She never asked for anything, had great ideas, laughed at silly fashions, tried on hats with me, - so at the end I bought her a few fun things - just because.
I know this isn't with all men - but I am out numbered. My guys just can't. They can grocery shop on good days & are well behaved in stores & resturants. I guess this was just not making sense to them. Maybe I built it up to be something more than they saw.

BUT this year's bell ringing event was better than the shopping and it didn't cost us anything - just some good quality time together.

The Barber

2007-12-10T16:52:00.000-08:00

Looking for a holiday gift for a 5-8 yr old? This is just the thing. I wouldn't have guessed it would be as fun as it has been. A blog friend (AD) sent me this for the boys to play with. G-man loves it! He dutifully waters it every other day. Here is the before picture.

Here is the hair stylist at works.

Here is the result.

I tried to encourage him to make a mohawk or go Funky. Sometimes I am just too "crazy" for my analytical family.

The winning photo

2007-12-10T16:38:00.001-08:00

I just want to update from a previous post that this is the photo that won 1st in photography at the local nature center art competition. I went to look at the other photos on display. There were lots of frogs and dragon flies. There were some amazing views of nature. I feel very honored. I guess the unique thing about this photo is that G-man was one of two humans actually in a photo.
I went to a nice reception and rec'd a gift certificate towards a program there. G-man likes the summer nature camps - we will probably use it for that.
I am inspired to take a class at our local center for the arts called Right brain photography. I am very excited. It will be from 7-10pm . Will I be able to stay awake? Probably- it will be tough to sleep after actually engaging the brain.
I will post some pics once it starts in Jan for review.
As always - thank you for the kind words of support in the comments towards the photos.

Home study Update

2007-11-27T18:05:00.000-08:00

We just had the social worker come today to update our home study.
Yesterday, I felt sad that it had been so long that paperwork "expires". I didn't think we would have gotten to this point.
But today after she left- I feel a bit closer to our adoption. It seemed a little more real again. I know that sounds crazy but talking with someone who helps make it "official" was ok.

Her agency does all types of adoptions. She didn't say that much about China. We did mention that this is longer than we thought going into it. She said that she just signed someone on for China and made sure they understood that it maybe a 3 year wait.

She did mention too that the few China adoptions they were doing have switched to other countries. We are also using another agency that specializes only in china adoption but need this local agency to do our home study. This local group will also be responsible for our post placement paperwork.

And overall, we are once again "good people" to adopt on paper! Whew!

CNC photo

2007-11-20T05:05:00.000-08:00

This is the dragonfly picture. What I entered in the contest was: enlarge to 11x14 two of the photo and using an exacto knife to cut out the wings and put glue under it to raise them. It looks 3-D and sort of like it is flying. I finished it by putting a dark blue mat around it.

I just found out that I am one of winners in the photo category. I don't know which one won but I am guessing it is the dragon fly.

I really enjoyed the diversion to mess around with my hobby. It is expensive at times so you have to be choosey. I'll need to get a paying job to continue this - but then you don't have the TIME to take the pictures....Catch 22
My church asked if I wanted to set up a display of photos in the fornt hall. Now I am working on a theme- Nature or kids. Maybe two displays... Hmmm

photos

2007-11-08T15:13:00.000-08:00

I am not going to mention anything about XXXXX (the country we are hoping to travel to in the next 2 years.)

I have other parts to my life. Yep there is the volutneering that is going well but I am enjoying the photography.
I am entering a photo contest at our local nature center. I can only enter 2. I have stared at these long enough to think they all are getting old. I am also driving my family crazy with waht about this one and what if I put a black mat on this, etc.
I am entering the dragon fly as an 11x14. I made two enalrgements and cut out the wings on one and placed it over the other. I sent it in already so I don't have a copy of it to post.
The other is gman in the water. I wanted to use the frog in hand but again only two. Enjoy.

New life - Ala Volunteer

2007-11-04T17:45:00.000-08:00

I've been away for a bit. I do check in but haven't left many comments.It is really hard to deal with China and the wait - I am become the ostrich. Sorry.
What I have done away from the blogging world is become cheap labor:)
I am immersed in the "volunteer" world. Amazing how my plate is fuller than a teaching job. I have to learn to say "not today, but thanks for asking."
I - many of you will understand- feel that I have to prove something since I am not working. I can't just tell people that I took a year off - no I have to ramble on how I am doing this and that.
I am proud to say that the mentoring program I am coordinating as a "volunteer" has 42 people signed on, trained and background checked. The largyntis I had was diagnosed as viral (ie no magic pills) and has lasted almost 4 weeks with varying symptoms as it has kicked my butt.

I am pulling the energy together this week to start the mentors in 3 different math classes. The goal of the program is to improve confidence and performance in the basic math skills. SO Hopefully I will be on a schedule by Thanksgiving.

I have missed working with the 8th graders so I also "volunteered" to advise a school leadership group. The group is to serve and work on philanthropy projects in the good name of the school. It is good to be with the students in a non authority role and I enjoy their energy BUT organizing and running the 15 projects they have identified is not going so smoothly. They don't have enough experience to do timelines or focus on tasks that need to get done for the project to work. I am really trying to make sure that this is their activities and sometimes we don't get something done. After the adult mentoring gets started - then I can devote more time to this.

Last thing I am "volunteering" to do is coach the science Olympiad team. BUT I have enlisted about 5 other retirees and young scientists to help on certain events. I will just arrange the times and work on recruiting the kids.

Sounds pretty insane. Yep. It feels like it too but I am happy. I will want a "job" next fall. Where that will be I don't know. I am trying all these things I wanted to do first. I am able to help at the kids school too. Very rewarding and God Bless the elementary teachers!

In my original plan of life - which I know I have no control over anymore- I was to have traveled to China this fall and be home with a little girl and treat her like a princess. I have hyper focused into other areas to pass the time, enjoy the boys and family for now. This sounds confident but it is still a struggle to take during referral time.
Thanks for reading.
PS some of you change your blogs- how do I post when I have to subscribe?

Sleepless

2007-10-21T18:53:00.000-07:00

I neglected blog posting and visiting for about two weeks. My son had been sick with some "GERM" for over three months. What the diagnosis came to be is- "allergies"
Do you ever get the feeling that it is just a generic term like having a "cold?"
After two weeks of test that is the answer we got.
Let me back up- so you can experience the fun too....
Three weeks ago I went to the pediatrician finally after months of this kid breathing funny and having circles under his eyes like we abuse him. Now some may be thinking - mono, right? Well, this kid also had ENERGY. Only throwing up will slow him down- and that is in the bathroom and then out.
So I cough, choke up the money for the Dr. to tell me Claritin and singular 1x a day.
After a week - no improvement- not worse.
So we go back and the Dr. tell me to go to the Ear Nose & Throat expert right away. His tonsils look bad. Huh?
I go there and Dr schedules us for an x ray and a sleep study- again -a whatta?
The next day we go for the x ray. Pretty scary seeing a little guy only 3 ft tall lined up on a wall with a giant x ray tube shooting at his face. I hear the technicians discussing what "number" to set it at - say what? my suggestion - low! They get someone else that gives them a higher number. I tell my kid to close his eyes- the technician laughs- "that won't matter."
The next day after that we go to hospital to have a sleep study. I was told I could not drop him off and leave him there alone. Do people do that?
I am going to have to spend the night too. Oh joy! The whole family comes to be there to tuck him in- hubby and big bro.
We are met downstairs in a back hallway by two big male nurses or if they have a special title.
They have to hook the little guy to 18 wires (we counted) with a sticker or pasty stuff. He is really brave - even when his big bro tells him to watch being electrocuted when he pees. Nice....
The room have one double bed. I slowly figure out I have to sleep there too. I was hoping for a recliner on the side. Nope- there is a camera facing the bed and an infrared camera above. It is really creepy. Like big brother watching. I don't care as long as I don't know someone is bugging my house. See I have no idea if anyone ever follows me since I don't pay attention to that, either. I am a dreamer - I love my own thoughts- I get lost in them easily enough.
I brought a laptop and was planning to blog this post as it was happening. Hubby and Big Bro go home and I get ready to start on some work.
The head nurse tells me I cannot use the laptop. Oh- I say - thinking the computer will mess up some of the tests. Ok- I tell him I'll just work on some stuff by the lamp light here. NO- he tells me again. No lights on - period. & I cannot leave the room.
Well, I guess I better just hop into bed at 9pm and lie next to the little guy. I was also told not to touch him (like hug him or wrap an arm while he is sleeping there) again- I will try - plus he has so much stuff on him I know I would accidentally pull a wire.
So they talk to me, laying there in complete darkness, with my sweat suit on, answering about the ambiance to make sure the temp is right, etc. They are just these voices in the dark. I am feeling very uneasy and know I am not going to get any sleep.
After I think some short black out period on my part, I wake up and look over at the little guy. I did this about a hundred times that night. I prayed I wouldn't drool, talk in my sleep or snore.
One time on my routing checks- I see the little guy way on the edge of of the bed. I am nervous since he falls out of be alot and now there are these wires. So I whisper into the dark " Can I move him from the edge just a bit?" Then the voice from the dark answers "You may." Very creepy, kind of like a thriller movie that you wish you weren't a part of.
They woke us up at 5:30 am to remove the stuff. He tells me that the little guys breathing was clear and looked good. He said that I didn't sleep well. -Really?
The results from either were nothing. My pediatrian now thinks a CAT scan- a whatta? So delay on the next test to call a reputable allergist in town and made my own appointment- giving them a good story off all we had been through. Got in two days later from a cancellation.
Allergy Dr. Looked at my kid and said "Allergies". I told him what we had done. He was furious - yep that would describe it- he said - "your kid is a poster child for allergies!- I'd fail my 1st year med students for not recognizing that!" He tested little guy on the spot. Little guy (aka nature & animal lover) is allergic to everything outside- trees, grasses, ragweed, pollen, mold, cats, and rodents. But not dogs. Dr. gave him some nasal stuff & zyrtec, told us to get an air purifier for dust mites - only a mild reaction (whew! I was afraid I'd really have to clean house or something).
Yeah! Kid feels better but we just have to watch the seasons here and use the meds before it gets too serious.

Me now- I have laryngitis- I cannot talk and no energy. Seriously- I squeak. This is a curse if you are Italian. Almost as bad as not having hands to help express yourself. Maybe a sleep study....

Running with the Big Dogs

2007-10-04T18:11:00.000-07:00

Yep, this puppy got off the porch to take a run with the big dogs. I had meetings all day yesterday with people that had titles after their name like: director, CEO, emeritus, PhDs, chairman, and usually more than one title - unlike mine which follows my name as volunteer.

It was quite a learning experience. I watched body language,subtle and not so subtle power struggles and measuring others up. I was like a puppy being potty trained...

Not sure exactly what was productive out of the meetings- lots of "good meeting", "this was helpful", "let's keep doing this" and "sounds good."

See, I think sometimes they are so far removed from the worker bees that they don't know what is going on. A few times when I was acknowledged that I was there- I was asked to clarify - which I thought I did (taught 8th grade -I can be clear if I need to be) - then they would reiterate and it was nothing like I said. How many different languages can we be speaking here?

So while I was hoping for a concrete task list, support, new strategies to moving forward - they just seemed to applaud themselves for getting together. Very strange.

So I am continuing to work through some piles, set my own tasks to meet the goals we ALL set, and hopefully I made some connections with leader dogs for when I need a favor.
Yep this puppy is moving on....

Posting time & Set-up

2007-09-30T11:49:00.000-07:00

Alright, just how long does it take you to do ONE post. One with a few pictures?
It just took me an hour to post on my adoption info site. The post below was at least that - I didn't have all the images ready before I started.
Goodness!I must be slow or something. I would like to post daily but my hubby thinks I have an blog-addiction problem, yeah - whatever (eye roll).
So if I am slower than most to post- what am I faster at than the average? hmmmm

Hmmmm (sigh) I don't get punch lines in a reasonable amount of time.

Hmmmm(sigh) I react slower than most (see post below).

Hmmmm(sigh) I eat slower than most.

Hmmm(sigh) It takes me longer to sleep than most.

Hmmm(sigh) I drive slower than most (ie that would be 3 over the posted speed limits)

I got it! I talk faster than most! ?Is that good?

***************************

Set-up:
Last night I was set -up. Yep, the 7 yr old works hard trying to get his Mother committed to the loony bin (same place Ms. Dragon fly visited ;)
To back up a bit- I have been trying some new parenting phrases.
The latest is "So how would you handle that?" Basically, I am trying to help instill some responsibility, ownership and action after a situation that needs attention.

I have used this when the boys are fighting - I get interesting answers but the idea is to keep them talking and thinking about it instead of taking the anger fight mode. They come up with a solution, hopefully and with some guided discussion, it is resolved.

OK - so last night, I am beckoned to my 7 year old's room by "Mom, would you pleeeaaaaaaaassssssssssse come here?" Not in a crisis voice but like it was important. So I walk over.

He commands "Now stand here." He points that wiggly finger to a spot on the floor. Ok - I am wondering when did I become the robot of choice, but I dutifully do this. Then he grinned (?) said "Look up"

I do. Now, right above me is a very large spider looking back at me! I am not afraid of spiders except when they are unexpected - I can't go through the psycho babble of -they are more afraid of me, they don't bite, this is natural, it is kind of cute, look at how well it is adapted, blah blah etc.

I think I sucked in all the air in the room when the little monster says "So how are you going to handle THAT?"

Now, I believe there are many paths in life. There were so many options for me at the moment. Some were not going to get me to that Terrific Mom award (it is out there - I heard about it but never make the first round). Was he trying to KILL me? How long can I ground him? Maybe he can live with Grandma! These are of course the only ones I can type in public (don't want to lose my NICE award).

After staring in disbelief for oh-maybe eternity (remember I am not quick on the draw, apparently even survival skills).

The little guy has the nerve to continue "Would you like me to make a suggestion?"
I think I nodded, but slowly.

"Back up and get a container to take it outside." announces Mr. smarty pants.

So do you think he is on to my new parenting techniques?
Do you think he is learning how to manipulate the system?
Do you think he understands how this is effective to work things out? (bahhaha- hard to type that one)

Virtual Shopping

2007-09-26T17:52:00.000-07:00

Thank you for your comments. I am looking into the Organic Vs Local issue and will present a post soon on this.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I want to thank some of you for visiting. I love to buy gifts- I even HAD a gift budget. "Gifting" is one of my LOVE Languages (great book if you have some spare time). It is important to me to find a "perfect" gift and it doesn't have to be expensive. Sometimes the deadline of a birthday comes too quickly and I am not happy with the gift, but if there is time- there is usually a lot of thought to the present.

Ok..ok.. I am a volunteer now- I am on a extreme "budget." So I went VIRTUAL shopping for some of you.
OBVIOUSLY, if I could give any of us in the adoption wait it would be to have a perfect referral & immediate travel for our Chinese children.
BUT for something more to do I searched some of your blogs for ideas...I am a bit rushed - so this is suppose to be light and fun.

First, A buddy of mine is not a blogger but checks the site out- he is photo buddy (really Awesome photos) and past work colleague. I miss our daily check ins and science banter. So for you, AB I got you the tripod you have been wanting. Will you share it?

**UPDATE - Dang Nebit!*** You just told me you bought it today!***

Now for Secret Agent. There was so much to consider. I hope there will be a crazy batch like Aug - Sept 2006 of say- 30 days??? - So we can travel together. She is an animal lover and has to put up with the strangest town I have ever known. I decided on a Pegasus.
Not that your horses aren't keeping you busy enough, but if there was first contact with this new animal- I can imagine that you would be a great rider and learn to fly the Pegasus. With an extra animal- you need extra help. Here is the guy to help you with all the work around the farm. He can hand deliver your Mojitos too. Sorry - we didn't exchange names....

Another gal, was one of the first I met through a yahoo group. She is also blessed with a beautiful boy. Her blog just shows the joys of being parents. She also has a the self confidence that I would love to be standing behind. She is also in education so she took the insanity route. So for you dear Mothermotherocean I know you want sleep, I'd order you some Lunesta sleeping pills - they wouldn't work anyway. You won't be able to sleep soundly until your child has moved out of the house. So how about Alice. You may need her to to the housekeeping but I bet she could also grade papers, organize projects and even conference with students if you need a sub:)

The Ghelerter Twins- your life is plentiful, doubly blessed with twins. I get belly aches from reading your posts. How about an action pack adventure to Disney? You may have been there a bunch of times but I can see you with the Minnie mouse ears!

My Special pal- we are actually from some of the same star dust. Getting to know each other more and more we found some uncanny similarities.Of course - I wish you had your princess, too. Do I get you that girlie dog you mentioned???How about a Grand Piano? For my Sweet DeRouen Princess, there is the spa. Not so original. Many of us could use this, but - take a break from the full time work, full time family, full time worries...

Ms Dragonfly, yes I know you want plane tickets. I enjoy your post about Shrimpy and life of the young. You have dimension and depth. Also the gift for writing. I had different ideas for you but since your dreams are much more channelled than mine so your present is a crystal ball.

Now we need you to use it and get us some answers!

Ok- Barkfoot seems pretty handy with the camera too. He has a nature/biology background. I don't think he would like to be walking around New York City for long so I found you a trip on an African Safari- Great seats- "shoot" all day long.
Beware of some new tribal ceremonies- I hear they can be rough.

Lisa M. This was a bit more challenging. I taught 8th grade for awhile so knowing that you have twins 13 years old! - you could have used some meds maybe not so legal...but they seem to be good guys. They love their mom so I thought - take the stress off yourself from that home improvement. I called Ty Pennington to give your home the Extreme makeover while you are off to Hawaii to "wait"- have a drink with a fancy umbrella- you can do your walking there while they give your house a "fresh" look.
MOVE that Bus!

OK now didn't get to everyone. Please don't be insulted. I must "shop" again so if you feel you missed out - I can get ya on the next one.

Organic or Local

2007-09-25T09:12:00.000-07:00

I want to put out there the idea that has been bugging me this summer.
Which is better- eating organic foods or locally grown produce? and when is one better than another?

Some organic produce comes from CA! That is a long way to ripen or over ripe or are they picked very green?

The cost of organic is so high! We have a local distributor for organic milk - still 2x the cost for half as much but it tastes so good.

Eggs! Yikes- 3x as much.

Some local grown foods use chemicals & pesticides- Is this why there is such a high rate of Cancer in America?

If you have any good sites I should look at about this -please let me know. I will put out a comparison of what I find out in another post.

Blah-Blah- talk - talk-

2007-09-17T17:14:00.000-07:00

I was having blog-block...(hehe - sounds like a lotion)and decided to start rambling and see what happens.

First, I have talked with some of you about career changes. I need to get over this transition. I am driving my friends and family CRAZY! I am finding a heck of a lotta stuff about myself though. I am a "worker- bee" I like having a boss and some structure and direction. My amazement for those that have their own business. I would be Chapter 11 in a week.
I am generally a creative person. I work best with a partner to bounce things off of. I have a great teacher friend who we would walk and come up with some of the best activities to do in class. Of course a lot of work but we were both sadistically worker-bees.

I like routines. My class was structured- not rigid - some flexibility but enough that the students knew what to expect when they walked in. I did "surprised them with questions, demos, things like that but I wouldn't go to bed the night before until I had things all planed out- even if it was just mental notes.

Am I missing teaching? Yes and No. There is terrific energy working with middle schoolers. I miss that. I am not stressed out with grading and the testing of my patience.I needed a break. That is for certain. Unfortunately, I didn't rest over the summer to be ready for Sept.
I am calmer now in that respect (I am a bit of a spaz- but all self induced). I have more patience and time to answer my kids in complete sentences, look at their homework, sign papers, make the kids breakfast and lunches, not lose it as much when the kids start an argument. I am able to take that deep breath and start over.

Now, I am fretting about my role, the program, what I want or rather need to be doing to keep busy.
Remember this is a one year leave. I can go back next year but not in my exact position.
Too much to think about - I'll go get my camera and see if I can think about something else for awhile...therapy....
Thanks for reading/listening!

Signs say...

2007-09-14T06:55:00.000-07:00

Its one of THOSE days...You all have had one in your life, I'm sure of it.

I am not the quickest one to figure things out, get a punch line or have witty comebacks, so today is just another way to miss the obvious...

I have been working on a making a movie CD to thank my aunt & uncle for a nice visit. I took over 100 pictures and organized them into a movie format and added music, titles and such. The "project" is saved but it will NOT burn to CD or even be saved as a MOVIE on my computer (yes there is plenty of room).Why do these thing need to be sooooooo difficult. Good intentions....

I burned my tongue on my coffee this morning. I can't remember when I have done that last myself. I make my own brew each week (ancient Christine secret) and nuke it in the morning. Today I put in the wrong amount of time - duh 1:45 but I must have put in 2:45 or something higher. I start it and go do something else while it is heating up. Of course, my kids were trying not to laugh as I spit it out when I thought it was a nice warm cup. You know how it probably is funny -LATER but at the time you are so mad that you want to blame it on someone else. The boys got to see that "fear for your life" mode that I occasionally show...
Now - I feel my tongue all day. "I tink I got a bister."

Last, many of you know that I have a terrarium and critter area from *Hell*. I encourage my kids to have these "pets" but once again I am the one cleaning and checking water pH etc. I have "lost" tadpoles, frogs, a little fish (I think it got eaten but not sure by what). It keeps me busier than I want to be. Now we have a tree frog, newt, goldfish and a gecko. How do you do it on a farm?? ;)You know I'd be trampled by a horse or sat on!

I dropped a cage full of crickets today. Yes - they are feeder food for the gecko and tree frog. Now they are all over my Berber carpet. I ended up killing most of them at first accidentally by grabbing at them before they disappeared. Then I was getting more frustrated so I just thought I will buy new ones tomorrow. I will be moving the couches again and vacuuming. Now on the list of scheduled events ...
I also cleaned the tank, added fresh water, cleaned the water pumps - rinsed the motors and cleaned the filters. Now one isn't working well at all. After an hour of - very uncensored words- it is pumping water at a slow trickle. Argh.. Good intentions- clean cage - happy critters- Me at the end of my nerves...

So once again it takes awhile to read the signs. I think back to bed and read a book...what's the worst that can happen ---papercut???

I'm gushing...

2007-09-10T16:16:00.000-07:00

Thank you thank you.. I was just awarded the "nice award." Me! Stop laughing some of you! NO I haven't been given this by a student- uhm... they love me but it is sooooo uncool to like give it to ya teacher.
Actually I was honored by Loud Secrets. I had been following her blog and another for about 6 months before even starting my own. She has the coolest ranch and I wish I could ride horses with the freedom she has. She seems so much better at expressing what we all feel though this adoption wait. She has been getting me to do more with the blog. I now have 3 blogs. One for adoption news, one for ramblings & fun and one for quilt square recognition. Yes- maybe I have multiple personalities but at least one of them is "nice."

Remember Sandra Bullock in Miss Congeniality at the end...that is how I feel...
Ahem...My speech- thank you to all the people that check in. One good turn deserves another. And peace and goodwill to all.

My dress would be something like this...Bring on the champagne, ladies and I will so "nice-ly" pour you a glass...

Thank you again.
****************

RED ROVER

I have thought about this post recently. I love analogies.Ms. Dragonfly- I am so inspired... So here it goes...
I was thinking how this adoption "situation" is like playing Red Rover- (I stunk at this game).
Those of us that have or will adopt are on one side and are connected by holding hands(red thread). The people that have been through this adoption before are like good brick walls. Many of us plant ourselves near them for advice and support. Others that are waiting to adopt can waiver. Our patience and determination seems to be tested. But still holding on to our dreams and hopes.

The other side is everything that is "happening" with adopting.Paperwork, regulations, referral batches (now that is a tough one!), politics and the children.

So here we are playing our "game". Trying to hold on and take it again. Some days are easier to be strong, others I am just hanging on. I never imagined this process would cause so much physical, emotional and spiritual pain and growth. Yes, I am stronger- (I should look like a heavy weight fighter by now). I have found tremendous support within friends next door and here in "blogland." Networking is good.

Hasn't it been said - "it is worth the wait?"

What to do....

2007-09-05T17:44:00.001-07:00

First day of school was Tuesday. I was happy to send my kids off but I was lost without MY first day. For 14 years I would be in a dead panic on this day- first impression of the teacher! I missed it. At the end of the first day - I always knew it was going to be ok. Making dinner and laundry isn't going to cut it for me.

My dH has described my time off this year as a "chain smoker who has gone cold turkey." Yep that is me. I thrive on energy- Middle schoolers have a lot of it- so I am trying to work on a new mentor program for my middle school. Only problem is that everyone keeps telling me to "talk to this person" and "Read up the latest research." I feel that I have been doing a lot of meetings, listening and researching- but I need some ACTION.

Patience -right? hmmm. I think my adoption wait has tapped me for the moment on patience. Balance is key. I never had that under control while teaching.

OK so today is Wed. I went roller blading after dropping off the kids. Did more research in between appointments added more "ideas" to the ever growing list of possibilities. Not in the groove yet. Not much on paper as I hoped. I need to do this.

She's Back!

2007-09-02T19:05:00.000-07:00

Hello- All!
Whoa - was there really an August??? I guess I put travel, vacations, meetings and visits all to this month. It was so full on the calendar, I can't believe it is over! I found myself without the blog world and a computer often and missed everyone. Grab some coffee or tea- this is a long one...

Let me wrap up my visitors. I had a great time with my grandparents- they are a hoot! She was so helpful to put dishes away that we are still have a FUN game trying to find where everything was put. You never know what will be in those top cabinets.

Here is a picture of my plastic bags she FOLDED!?? I have no idea why she does this- She asked where she should put them - then I showed her the bag that all the others were stuffed into! You can imagine her look and sigh - like she was thinking if she had enough energy to fold all the others.

The last morning with them- we had a nice breakfast. My grandfather actually shared some stories about the "good-ole-days". The times they went "dancing at a club," - real dancing together with some rhythm. Fighting in WWII with my uncles - trying to meet up on days off and learning to load a gun together. How really exciting the NY state fairs were and getting candy treats. Dealing with discrimination at his work because he was Italian, and how important family really is- he helped many of my cousins get jobs.

My grandparents really take care of each other. Through all the nagging and bickering - there is something very deep between them. I really don't think one can fully live without the other anymore. It is powerful and special and privilege to see.

They are back in their "retirement" home. It isn't NY and very isolated for them but my aunt lives close by to check on them. They live in a house. Both are still very healthy. I wondered if I could have them stay with me longer. Michigan is nice in the summer- maybe for 2-3 weeks. I will have to think about it more and hope they will agree.

But to leave this on a different note- As I was hugging her good bye "Now, be a good girl." Uhm...who told her???

******************************************************************
My big news - which some of you may know - I am taking a leave from my teaching duties this year. I have been so stressed out with lots of stuff that I was needing a change. I had THOUGHT we were traveling to China by now and that would have been a great change! A chance to stay home, be my own boss, and get a new focus BUT...No- 11 months still not even close...

SO I can't stay home and not have a PROJECT. I am a bit of a spaz and need to have a bunch of things going or I am lost. I am going to work on organizing a mentor/volunteer program in the middle schools for science and Math.
Earlier I asked for help with a name- Barkfoot suggested S*M*A*R*T and that is what "powers that be" are liking for the moment. I still have the others names- but as I look to seek grants for some funding for supplies- I realize the politics of "do what others say." So they are choosing a title.
Anyhow- I am excited. This will provide some outlet for my creative side that has been in sort of a stalemate for a bit. I also love challenges- I really want this to be successful and productive.

This was a VERY hard decision since we still don't have most of our money saved for our travel to China. We are losing about a 1/3 of our income but my dh is very good financially and know we will be fine if we follow some sort of a budget.
BUDGET - has always seemed like a Dirty word. My mother worked when I was young and as soon as I could- I got a job. It is part of me to be independent. This will be an adjustment.

It was really hard to pack up my classroom after 14 years. I will have a choice to return to teaching in a year but not necessarily in the building with my friends and level I was at. So I am taking a huge risk. Leaving my colleagues who have become close friends- people who you depend on and can understand teaching like I do was also emotionally upsetting. Yes, there have been some breakdown days - and I am not one to let go easily either.

I am going to look at it (because I have to) as a good thing to rejuvenate and slow down. As with this China adoption - there are ups and downs. The support I get online and friends here, helps get me out of funks. Change is good...Prayers...Faith can move mountains....

*******************************************************************
I am sorry to neglect so many of you on your blogs- I am going to have to get the boys in school (Tuesday) and get caught up.
Tagged for the 7 Ps.

Thank you Mamacita for tagging me.

There are no rules or guidelines to this.

I tag:
Derouen Princess
Wanderlust
Ms. Dragonfly
and anyone else who wants to play.

The 7 P's. It was hard to use only SEVEN, so I cheated on some and used more.

PANDORA's box - What I question when I have those thoughts of saying what is really on my mind.

PETS & PACMAN - gotta have...

PIZAZZ- Needing a little more now and then in life.

PERCEPTION - Everything has another view. In my age old wisdom- there is many more ways to view a situation.

PHLEGM - biologically useful but sounds disgusting as it looks.

PHOTOGRAPHY- I have plans to take more pictures - divulge in the creative side more- a release and freedom. I would like to start a photo challenge going for anyone. More thoughts on this later.

PEACEMAKER, PRACTICAL, PURPOSEFUL- Roles I am comfortable with.

Me & dH- relaxing and ready for a new chapter...

Me & My grandmother seize the day!

2007-08-16T19:40:00.000-07:00

It is kind of late and I am having trouble focusing. I will share some tidbits of the day with you.

Bleary eyed- I meet my grandmother in the kitchen - trying to get some coffee going for us. She tells me " I am done cooking- I am on vacation." Uh - ok- She made an egg side dish last night while I made breakfast, lunch & dinner. But not necessary - I'll cover.

She told me she doesn't like my driving. I have a clean record (please don't jinx me...). I have a minivan- I know the corners and I guess I was getting too close to cars when I was parking. I did NOT ask her to get out and walk.

We went to our mall today and lost my grandmother for a half an hour. She is not very tall so you cannot see her at a distance. I decided I would hear her. Yep. Sure enough, she started yelling in Target for me. I hesitated only a few moments before claiming her.

She insisted on buying my oldest son, who came with us, a backpack. She told me my other son did not need one. She was right in that he won one earlier in the summer BUT I have a tough time playing favorites. My youngest will certainly notice not returning with a little something for him. I showed her some books he would like, she didn't bite. So I bought him one. When we got home she said" Your mother bought this for you, I think you have plenty."
OK- uhm...we will have to discuss this tonight at bedtime.

Our mall is nothing like New York City - I was told a hundred times- yah- this is the midwest mid size town.....Still we have pretty much everything you could want and more. If she saw something that was pricey - she told me the store was "ridiculous". If she saw something for a bargain- it was "junk". Nope she didn't buy anything for herself. If she needs something "New York stores" will have it.

Another store she was looking for PJs. Jokingly I found a sexy nightie and brought it over to her as a joke. She saw it and said it was "nice" and that she would buy if for me to show my husband! Argh - PLEASE don't go there. I put it back and told him about it when we got home. We both agree - not an area to go to.

I took them to see a minor league baseball game. We have our first year of one of the Dogers Farm teams. It is a nice stadium and very family friendly. Cheap, clean and easy to get to. The reserved seats were sold out so I opted for lawn seats. My grandfather insisted on carrying our collapsible lawn chairs. When we got to the four flights of stairs up - I grabbed them and told him to take my grandmother's arm. He is actually the unstable one but so Dang proud. I understand I am still a child in his eyes, but I wish he would let me help more.

We made it through to the 7th inning. Once the sun went down- I think she was getting chilled in her sweater and jacket. It was about 65 degrees but a slight wind. My boys were not too pleased when I told them to pack up but didn't have a fit, surprisingly. I didn't realize that my grandfather promised ice cream when we were leaving.

Great. Ice cream at 9:30 at night with my two wildcats.
I was told NOT to nag the kids and let them get WHATEVER they want. Luckily, the gal serving us was a former student and I snuck over to her while faking a restroom trip and told her to cut the sizes down.

My grandmother has been feeding my dog "stuff". My dog really doesn't do well with anything but un-dyed dog food. My dog has a "sensitive" stomach. We returned home after the game- yep - my dog showed them first hand what garbage food can do to her. Of course, my grandmother swears that she didn't give her much.

We also received 5lbs of cookies from a New York bakery today. My grandmother said that these are the best and that way she could have some "good" cookies with her coffee. Five pounds is a lot. They really haven't been eating much. I hope the cookies can freeze for holidays. My kids haven't finished with the bag of candy yet.

The TV is on a lot more than usual. My grandmother calls it the "idiot box". Yet, they put it on for noise. See- I like quiet now, I am tired of noise. Ok, whatever makes them happy. Idiot is also a word that we don't approve of, especially around my youngest. He rationalizes that if he knows of someone who did something in the grey zone of right & wrong - THEN it must be ok for him! I am not sure what movies my youngest was watching while we were at the mall but he told me he saw a person lose their head. Yeah- mommy is almost there too...Just kidding...

My oldest was reading and my grandmother said "this is good to see you being so smart" and that she likes to read too. She showed him her book. She reads Harlequin Romance books. He kind of jumped when he saw the cover of hers and recovered quickly with "you can read mine when you are done."

Tomorrow we are planning to stay home. I have some work stuff to do. Maybe a walk in our local city gardens but I think they are tired.

I am trying to "sneak" in hugs when ever I can to both. I am laughing a lot having them here in a good way. I need to get more pictures of them together and sneak a few of those special moments in too when they aren't looking.

Who's the Boss?

2007-08-15T02:17:00.000-07:00

My father picked up my grandparents at the airport and drove them halfway to meet my dH yesterday. We have a switchero spot- a gas station where we hustle two elderly people out of one van into another with suitcases. Maybe I should get darker sunglasses too.

I was told they would be at my house by 4pm. I needed to pick up a prescription for my son so at 5 pm, I left a note that I'd be right back. Of course, they came during the 10 minutes I was gone. My grandmother's first words to me were "Where were you? Why weren't you here? We flew out to see you. I missed you."

She looks really well. She is 5 ft and holding. Reddish hair and spunky. My grandfather seemed to be a bit jet lagged and tired. I steer him to the couch. He didn't say much - but then again he doesn't get a chance. She is whispering a lot to me about him being forgetful. He can hear her, she has the hearing aids. So I think the grin on his face is a "whatever" look.

She greets us and tells my oldest that he is too skinny. Pulls out a bag (see photo) of candy for them. She opens it and starts to give them some. I say "how about after dinner?" My kids aren't the best eaters. She looked at me and mumbles to them "Your mother is a fuddie-duddie." Tells me to "stop being a nag and a few pieces won't hurt nobody."
Also whispers to the boys "what your mother doesn't know, won't matter" and continues to give them more candy to eat.
They boys look at me and then at her. She says- "of course they'll eat dinner."
I caved. Not like it mattered anyway.

Dinner or Dessert - you decide?

My son has a cough - I had it checked out anyway before they came since I don't want them to get sick. The cough is more of a hack and sounds terrible. He coughed in front of her and she said "uh-oh. No coughing allowed here, mister!" She said it loudly and sharply as a joke but it scared my 10 yr old.

In tears he said "I can't help it." I had to explain it to him - yelling is common with some of my relatives - it isn't that you are in trouble - it is just the way to be heard over all the other relatives. We really don't yell in our house. I grew-up with lots of good & bad yelling so we generally keep our voices even.

Dinner went well. Just your basic chicken & cheese dish. When I put a few carrots on her dish, she replies "let's not get crazy with the vegetables, shall we?" My children look at me and grin.

My grandparents wanted their "coffee" with dessert. I forget - it this an East Coast thing? I don't know many people who do it here.
My grandmother insisted on putting the milk in a creamer (to serve two mugs of coffee) and asked me if I had real cup & saucers. I'll get those out for tomorrow.

We watched a little TV. They like to watch CSI and JAG. It was a rerun so my grandfather & Dh watched the baseball game. That gave my grandmother & I some more time to talk. She showed me pictures (about 50+) of her other great grandson from my cousin. He is the first great grandchild from my aunt's children and well photographed. She got teary about missing family, and that we are so far away. I never know what to say. I replied "but you are here now. I am so glad you were able to visit with me too!"

I understand how this is difficult. Where she grew up - everyone lived in the same area. Her parents lived down the street.Her brothers & sisters called every day - those were your "friends." They lived not more than 5 minutes away. I used to spend 2 weeks every summer with my sister there and it was always a party. People would come by for "coffee & cake." We live in the midwest, they are in the south and some cousins still live in the East. Families are now widespread. I think she was planning on all of us living nearby too. She really never developed any hobbies or made any friends outside the family. I see her loneliness and *mental note* need to call & visit more.

Tucking my son into bed- asks " Mom, is she the boss of you?"
I reply " well, sort of." (Parenting helps you with lack of commitment)
He asks again "I mean, do you have to do what she says?"
I reply "It is respectful to do what she asks. So yes, I listen to her."

Now he gets this really big wide grin on his face. I think he has a plan in the works.

+++++++++++++++++
Side note: We tried to discuss 6 months ago, that we were adopting from China. She didn't understand. She said all those things you are not suppose to say. I really wasn't insulted. I do know that I will try to shelter my daughter from comments like those later. If I was adopting from Italy or US then it would make more sense to them. We won't be bringing it up while they are here.

The House Guests

2007-08-13T16:27:00.001-07:00

I am dedicating my next few posts to my house guests which are to arrive tomorrow afternoon. They are my grandparents. While I love them to pieces and appreciate that they are around to still get on a plane and fly to visit me and my sisters, they offer wonderful post opportunities.
To stereotype- they are originally from New York. They are Italian and if you ever watched "Everybody Loves Raymond" the mother is like my grandmother. She is no more than 5 ft tall and still a pistol. She - in a gentle way of putting it - doesn't understand tact. She is also my grandmother so I will never explain how what was said may be insulting. I don't really care - it gets to be funny at times. I may be drinking a lot by the end of the weeks visit -but the memories will be worth it.

Some more background on them. She calls (hollers) to him as "Skippy!" and she is his "apple of my eye." They look after each other and plan to hold hands off to heaven together. Like the Notebook movie - I believe they will.

She loves to cook but in her older age - burns most stuff now. They only like diner food and Italian. Last year we took her to a Greek restaurant and she complained loudly how awful it was. My house will never be "right" and I have no decorating taste according to her. I never call enough but when I do her hearing aids are never in.

My maiden name is mentioned in the Godfather.

My grandparents are loyal to family "blood is thicker than water" and would do anything for any member. They see me as a little girl, about 5 years old. I love them and very protective of them.

I can make light of them since I experience them for almost 4 decades now. These are not to be disrespectful but a way to remember this week.

The Answer key:

2007-08-12T14:00:00.001-07:00

Ok - Here are the answers-

I did go to space Camp in Huntsville Alabama with a fellow educator and had the best time. I never had so much fun earning graduate credit. I have not been in outerspace - but if they asked me to train as another teacher astronuat - I would in a heartbeat.

Well, somehow I got talked into running for Winter Carnival queen in college. Problem was - I don't have any "talent" per say. It was decided to perform a "comedy" skit. I played Marilyn Monroe as a queen candidate. I was very nervous because - comedies have to be funny and if there wasn't any laughs then I'd just die out there...BUT It did go well, I knew it would be ok because when the spotlight turned on me- my lovely blonde wig and dark eyebrows got a good laugh BEFORE I did anything. I won 1st runner up.

For my 5th wedding anniversary my Dh asked me what I would like. I replied with wanting a cool classroom pet. My husband's reply was "some women just want jewelry." The next day we were at the pet store buying a Colombian Rainbow Boa Constrictor. He is the smallest of his breed, he is about 6 months old in the picture. I kept him for 5 more years but gave him away when he couldn't stay in the classroom due to lack of heating issues in my room. He was very calm and grew to about 6 feet long. Yes, he ate live mice. I was one cool teacher!

My dream Car! Except I cannot drive a stick so I will need a cute young foreign chauffeur to take me places.

The false one is - I never threw up on Thunder Mountain - because - I don't ride rollercoasters. I have a real fear of heights. I can spin and twirl on any ride but not up. I can go to outer space because I won't see all the little people and buildings. So that is my lie.

Truth or Lie?

2007-08-05T06:08:00.000-07:00

A&MG posted this on her site and asked others to try it. I am not good at this. Ok this is a true or false test. Teacher's hint: Four are true and one is not. Are your pencils sharpened?

1) I threw up on Thunder Mountain roller coaster.

2) I played Marilyn Monore in a talent show.

3) I went to Space Camp as an adult.

4) I owned a Boa Contrictor.

5) I cannot drive a stick shift car.

Have some fun. I am on vacation and in the boonies. I am connected now to internet by sitting in a HOliday Inn Express a half hour away. No addiction here.

Diaries

2007-08-01T09:11:00.000-07:00

Wasn't sure what to post. I am tired of working on this new program and need a break.
So I came across this. Hmmmmm.

It's the good girls who keep diaries; the bad girls never have the time.
- Tallulah Bankhead

GOT NAME?

2007-07-28T09:40:00.000-07:00

Yum! This is the season for cherries here. But this has nothing to do with the post:)

As I mentioned earlier - I am in the mist of a career change. I am "technically" on a professional development leave from teaching for one year. What I want to do is coordinate a mentor program in the middle schools for students in math & science. There is a large professional corporation in town that would like to promote something like this with their employees. Obviously - heavy in the math & science fields. This cannot be funded by the schools (since the state is in a budget crisis - we laid off teachers). I will have to write my own grants.

What I am struggling with at the moment is a NAME for the program. I have other "issues" but I'll save that for another post. My first idea was: Mentorworks! - but they (powers that be) don't want the words mentor or remediation - used in the title. This program is focused on academics and a "school program."

Here are some ideas that go with the program when brainstorming-
guided study * math * science * support * partnership * education * resource * supplement * curriculum * boost *

Acronyms are a common - but those of you that were there during the cyber shower and saw me play the verification letter game - know that I stink at this. ;0

Any one have ideas to share? I know this is the least of my concerns in the BIG picture - but I need to get a hold of something and develop from there. GOT NAME?

Still here - just slow

2007-07-25T19:43:00.000-07:00

(Another pic - called umbrella)

I have started so many posts in my head but just don't get it down in time. A few ramblings...

My little dude was taken to nature camp this week. For some reason this was hard on me. He has been to camp before but this time without his big bro. I waited in the parking lot and watched him. He is shy at first but a typical extrovert. He will make friends. I guess there are some days I want to hold them so tight and keep them from growing up. This feeling creeps up at random times. If you don't have kids yet - wait- you will get these soon enough. They are like a rock drowning your heart in an ocean. It also centers me into what is a priority in life.

(Little Dude fishing)

My lack of posts and comments - although I enjoyed a cyber shower- is mainly due to going through a career change now. It has me caused some confusion, questioning and lots of stress. I am following my heart on this, realizing I need a change - just praying for some better answers. When it is official - I will post more details. I am a low risk taker - if you knew me - this is huge.

The last of the rambles for the night - is that I really enjoy reading other people's blogs. It is also fun to get to know others especially in the adoption world. I am trying to comment but I do like to check around and visit sites. I get inspiration, opinions, lot of funny stuff, and updates on the adoption. I think people are fascinating. I like learning about different people and their personalities. Some places - like a concert- a beach- a mall- offers more diversity. I realize that we are not alike- I wouldn't want us to be. Differences make us interesting. I have my opinions too but I guess I am seeing how I measure up.

Update - I finished my web class- that is why I am out with the camera lately - to relax again....

Ode to a Dragon fly

2007-07-22T19:41:00.000-07:00

This post is dedicated to Ms Dragonfly for her good news...
This afternoon I went to a friend's place- out of the city and took my time, enjoying the beauty. These dragon flies were playing with me. I have been trying to get the right exposure too. If they would just stay still....

Next comes the frogs...

Argh!

2007-07-17T15:49:00.000-07:00

I make up blog entries in my head constantly - especially when I am driving. I regret not able to actually get them posted. Sometimes that is for every one's good.
I am taking a web publishing grad class. It is with a program called Dreamweaver.
I signed up thinking I could do a classroom web page and maybe change my blogs into something more. Well, I also though I was pretty decent at blogging - at least enough to have some options on a page.
I am totally lost in this class! It is from 8-5! I am dying! First I cannot get my head organized on planning the web site - I don't know why. Maybe last weeks margaritas ruined that section of the brain.
Second this program is NOT for beginners! It is like the Cadillac of design. You do everything from scratch! No templates to start with - You can BUY a template for $50+. It takes about 15- 30 min to make one button! I am sure I will learn something but I get so frustrated because I am on break and didn't plan to work that hard.
Pathetic aren't I?
Whiny too.
So my dear blogger friends- I will not leave you in this world- I may learn to jazz some stuff up but don't hold your breath.

Update on terrarium:
The missing critters are not on the ground, under the table or in the room. I just vacuumed and checked.
The big frog named Moe is gone! Black hole for sure.
We found a tree frog and green frog and added them. What the heck.

PS waiting for good news from Ms Dragonfly- I am so excited for you. And Loud secrets - I saw a color in my web class called chandelier pink. It has sparkles in it.

Black Hole

2007-07-12T11:19:00.000-07:00

Black Hole: Swirling hot gases in outer space. Largest known gravitational force in the universe. A "hole" in space so dense that even light cannot pass through. An inverted bend in time and space causing space to warp.
Yes, this must be it. I have come to the rational conclusion that there is a black hole existing in my terrarium. As many know - this terrarium of critters had become my summer project. My nemesis, way too time consuming- addictive toy- obsession.

I was given a terrarium to play with. It was missing some key parts so I used my non existent bonus to buy the parts. I paid for the finest creatures in all the land of Oz.

Some days are good, other days I consider doing CPR on a frog (never know if the handsome prince is there). My kids encourage the battle. "Save him, Mom. He just can't die- I feed him every hour." and it goes on and on.

My morning ritual is to check who is living and who has taken the easy way out and chose death to escape our house of turmoil and torture as we blunder through the How to take care of XXX.

We are learning but with a cost. My sanity is on the brink.

We started with 5 tadpoles. 3 turned into froglets and were never seen again. The other 2 just disappeared. One day the fish are there, the next day there is only one- only to mysteriously return the following day. The newt died today- he was missing for 2 days and surfaced this morning.

Current census:
2 small gold fish, a very small algae eater, a new newt, a frog, 6 sand toads and two ivy plants.

Many of our creatures "disappear." I have too many critters MIA. There seems to be a daily replacement necessary.

My theories:
1) The fish eat the tadpoles- But they are on the other side of the tank and only twice the size of tadpoles. NO way for them to get to each other unless one sprouts wings to fly over to the other side.

2) The water plants are actually carnivorous in the tank- they look so pristine and lily like. A little frog hops on the leaf to be smashed like a pancake and digested into oblivion! Cool! they only cost $1.99. What a deal.

3) There is a black hole festering in my terrarium. Things are constantly being taken into different dimensions. Some come back alive or belly up. Some decide anywhere - any warped galaxy is safer than our tank. This seems to be the only rational theory.

Getting the picture?

2007-07-10T18:19:00.000-07:00

I depserately need a new lens. Macro- I think. I am in the right spot but can't seem to get the shot I want.

Here are my "bees in action"

Why can't I get the bee in focus?
I am trying for the flying bee next to the flower.

Here is my dragon fly picture. Not as cool on others' blogs site.

Flying Squirrels

2007-07-05T07:34:00.000-07:00

WHOA! What a morning... My neighbor & I were talking outside and we hear some crazy animal chatter in the trees. Next thing we know there is a little red squirrel jumping over our heads and landed in the yard and dashed into some bushes. I hadn't even finished my coffee - so we both checked - did you see that?

Our suburban little red squirrels don't do this. Plus my dog was in the yard too. We were amazed and thought how cool it was. I went back to my deck to do some reading when I saw a squirrel do it AGAIN! This time from the other side of the tree. Then it scampers back and joins the other squirrel in the tree and they chase around until one ends up "flying" out- sometimes landing on a neighboring tree - sometimes just thudding onto the ground.
I raced inside to get my camera- knowing it probably will stop and I would be too late. I put my dog inside. Then stood near the base of one tree and wait. After some misses - I got it!

I can't tell yet if it was the same squirrel jumping or two. There were only two playing in the trees. It seemed like they were playing "king-of-the-tree". They ran around & around when all of the sudden - one comes "flying" out from some part of the tree and lands randomly. If it is only one - what an cool survival adaptation! Or terrible trait that will cause it to die out very soon due to poor landing choices (ie my dog). Maybe it bumped its head too many times. You never know.

This whole morning ritual only lasted about 10 minutes. I hope to get out there tomorrow and see if they do it again! Please click on the picture to get the whole effect.

One of the squirrels.

What makes you tick? Part 4

2007-07-03T19:12:00.000-07:00

You Have A Type B+ Personality

You're a pro at going with the flow
You love to kick back and take in everything life has to offer
A total joy to be around, people crave your stability.

While you're totally laid back, you can have bouts of hyperactivity.
Get into a project you love, and you won't stop until it's done
You're passionate - just selective about your passions

Do You Have a Type A Personality?

I think the stability part is off- I hide it well. I don't rock the boat, though. The passionate part is very true- I am working on something soon to feed one of these passions too.

What makes you tick? Part 3

2007-07-03T07:32:00.000-07:00

65%

Mingle² -

Not too bad- I thought I was worse. I know I am getting worse as people keep sharing really cool tricks to try on a blog:)
I should take this quiz again at the end of the year and compare...or maybe not....

What makes you tick? Part 2

2007-07-02T10:14:00.000-07:00

How do you canoe?

We use to canoe more with our dogs when we did training for search & rescue work. Yesterday we went and it brought back some great memories.
There are different "styles" to canoeing.

There are the zig zagers.

There are the circle people.

There are the tipsy people that like to tip.

Some like the white water canoe trips.

There are some that move straight-as-an-arrow.

There are browsers, and lets-get-somewhere people.

The place where you sit can be important too.

I think canoeing with someone is necessary to see if your are compatible. It is part of a list we joke about. My best friend & I took a women's trip and found out we are OK too.
My husband prefers the back spot while I like the front. In the front there isn't as much pressure. I can tell what side he is paddling on and help keep us straight or help us turn. Also up front- I am the scouter.
He wants the control spot - I am OK with that- I mean- then he is to blame if we get lost!
Yesterday, we rented canoes as a family down an easy river. Very calm. It was a sunny day and another couple joined us with their boys. Three hours, very peaceful. Stopping for some swimming. It is one of those events that gets ruined if you do it alot but a couple of times in the summer is just right. The kids made it nosier than usual but they had a good time. It was hard to see much wildlife since the kids talked real loud and shouted when they saw something like a turtle or a bird.

We took an exploratory path - the city adventurers but ended on a back pond. Once we convinced everyone to whisper or not talk we could see what was back there. We saw a blue heron and a beaver swam around us. I think it was a mother protecting a nest. of course - I did not have my camera so trust me - very cool. When we stopped on a sandbar - I was teased as Pocahontas for identifying the animal tracks- deer, raccoon, and fox. None of these are very hard...

Today I am sore from sitting on the aluminum bench- I have a delicate be-hind....
So how do you canoe?

A Change

2007-06-29T11:26:00.000-07:00

I have to change my avatar. It just dawned on me that "Cute but psycho" is really not a good message to all my fellow blog friends. I just really liked the bunny. The picture is actually from a card that I sent my husband during one of those stressed out weeks.
So today I am wondering what to switch to? This is what I came up with: four choices:

1- A classic. Isn't she sweet.

2- Look at the feet of this magnificent animal. This is a Blue footed booby bird from the Galapagos Islands. I went there and this is my picture. There is a picture of this bird in my 8th science textbook. The 8th graders always get a snicker out of its name.

3- This is a tortoise from the Galapagos Islands. He was eating and very messy. My picture too.

4- My favorite dog - We lost her this past winter. Not my picture but looks like her. Kimba.

Critter update

2007-06-26T11:24:00.000-07:00

We had to go away last weekend for 4 days. The poor terrarium was in a fragile state. I am missing 4 of the new frogs. We actually think they are small sand toads because they don't seem to like the water. I did find two before I left - floating belly up. Also one of the bullfrogs did not make it either.
OK- so I left with worry - NOT about the house on fire or being robbed - but worried and hoped that the fish & frogs make it.

Sunday we rush to the terrarium. One bullfrog tadpole (Moe)with some good looking legs, one sand toad out of the water, and two fish. Good.

Then I looked over at my very established large goldfish tank (never had a problem) and see one very rotten dead algae eater. The water in my tank was a slight brown. Not good. All the other fish are on the bottom, not moving, gulping for some clean water. Really not good.

I removed the carcass and replaced the water. Over two days I am not able to get the pH right. Two of the three fish are moving but the third is still on the bottom. This was not to be the crisis of the week - there are surely more to come.

I am thinking of a newt that can be under water and out. This may be a better pet in the terrarium than the frog- toad things that keep disappearing.

My son's hamster has lost a bunch of fur. I am told this is a food allergy. I had been feeding him premium hamster delight. Now he is on basic lab tested pellets for a week to see if that helps. He looks awful.

I don't know why I care so much about these critters. I guess it is a test of nurturing. It is kind of scary- right now I am failing with a D+. It is that high because of the effort factor....

Hockey -Hockey - Hockey

2007-06-25T16:43:00.000-07:00

We were in Toronto for 3 days and it was a nice time. I mean hours at a hockey rink on gorgeous 75 sunny days. Where else would I rather be? Hmmm don't get me started.

Both boys were on a team. My youngest played with his spring team. They came in 3rd place. My son was able to play goalie for 3 of the 4 games. I ate TUMS like candy.

My oldest signed on a pick up team. It was what we called and international team- Canadians, Americans and one from Beijing (his parents were working in the Toronto area the summer. My Dh said he would help on the bench - that ended up meaning - he would be the coach. No problemo - I am use to this. They did well. No wins but a tie! There are some rules that are different in American & Canadian hockey. My oldest is in a non checking level. When he played in Canada - they check at his level. Unfortunately, he learned very quickly- like the rest of the Americans and were nick named them the "Goon Squad." Gee- can you tell I am a proud mother???

The place was oozing testosterone. Strategies, game plans, big sticks, expensive equipment...I wanted to chew some bubble gum and ask who just made a TOUCH DOWN and watch the reaction! I didn't- twisted thoughts stay back. Must be a survival technique.

There is a Canadian show called the Tournament. It is about fanatical hockey parents. I can't watch it after two episodes since I am afraid I am living some of it.

I hope next year we can stay and actually do some touristy things.

What makes you tick? Part 1

2007-06-20T19:54:00.001-07:00

Do you follow the rules?
Bend the rules?
Stretch the rules?
Make your own rules?
Ignore the rules?
Break the rules?

I am a rule follower. It bugs me when others don't. When others speed past me - I secretly hope they get caught but they don't. I won't race with them - because - I WOULD get caught. If I was to "get" away with breaking a rule- I don't feel good about it. It would keep me up at night. I don't spend my time thinking of ways to change the rules.
If I know the rules, then I will follow them- even if I don't like it.
But because it is a rule.

Pretty sad huh?

The Terrarium

2007-06-19T18:48:00.001-07:00

The set-up.
This has been the project of the week. We were given this tank with parts sealed in to make a complete ecosystem. Basically, plants & animals working together in harmony. Yeah- right. OK the first problem was that it didn't come with any instructions. It had been sitting on a shelf in the science lab storage for uh...longer than I have been working there.
Second, the filter system seemed pretty small and the tank is missing a cover.
So, I take my not so large paycheck and blow it on "supplies" to make myself & the boys happy. The salesperson was more than eager to spend my money on the "right" things. I actually had to "buy" water plants because the ones in the nearby creek will have larvae of many insects that will destroy my pristine habitat. So I am told- Nooooooo icky bugs to contaminate!

So finally on Friday, after I let the tank run for 24 hours with out anymore leaking and the water actually moving around in the tank, we decided Sat will be the day for the critters.

Saturday, the tadpoles moved in with the goldfish. Goldfish in compartment two, tadpoles in the first compartment. Five small tadpoles and two bullfrog tadpoles are accounted for with two basic feeder goldfish. Water plants set - not dried up but floating and rooted. Air bubbler working and a cute little waterfall.
I praise myself - show off - the boys think I am the greatest Mom ever, etc..

Sunday- Hurray! Four of the five small tadpoles turned into Frogs about the size of your finger nail. We are so great! My new genesis!
New Frogs!

Shorty & Moe the bullfrog tadpoles.

Tuesday...One found floating upside down bullfrog tadpole named "Shorty" (left? in the picture) this morning. My 7 year old is crying in his cereal. Says I should have fed him more. M.I.A. two of the new frogs but the goldfish look fatter...
My water fall is now a trickle- "sounds like someone is peeing" states the 10 yr old.
What will tomorrow bring? stay tuned....

Double Tagged - MEME

2007-06-14T05:43:00.000-07:00

I was tagged by email by A.D. and online do another MEME series.
Secret Agent must think I am ready for an autobiography :) Easy girl... baby steps...

4 Facts About Me:
1. I am a no frills gal. I wear basic make-up, rarely wear a dress, air dry my hair, comfort is key and can't remember the last time I wore heels higher than 2 inches. If I do dress up- my dh notices...

2. I love animals. I try so hard to save them when they are sick or ageing. The unconditional love. They are so fascinating- they don't get caught up in politics- just the basic survival needs. When I was little (I guess still do now too) wish that could talk to animals. Currently our house is sporting- a leopard gecko, goldfish, hamster, tadpoles, small fresh water shark, and a dog.

3. I love to travel. Anywhere sounds good for a visit and learn about other cultures. But I like my home for grounding.

4. My favorite music is anything 80s. I so glad it is an "in" thing right now. "Like narly...."

4 Habits that I have:

1. I like to wear socks to bed. Can't sleep with cold feet...

2. If it is a good book then I read until I finish it. Even if it is 3 am.

3. Pineapple shouldn't be warm. It's is just a thing...

4. I think I am addicted to this blog stuff, one became three...

4 new things in the past 4 years

1. Adopting a baby is not as easy as you think...

2. There is ALWAYS another side to an issue. One story has two sides.

3. When you need help, you must ask for it. People are also busy and don't know everything.

4. Leopard geckos eat their shedded skin for extra calcium...

4 things to do in the next 4 years

1. Travel to China for adoption (it better happen within the next 4 years...)

2. Establish a volunteer routine

3. Go to Hawaii and study the volcanoes with a geologist

4. Learn to play Lacrosse with my kids. It is not as easy as you think to catch with that stick...

The War of the Weeds!

2007-06-12T05:39:00.000-07:00

I couldn't put it off any longer. I had to help save my plants from the weeds that have taken over. Last year too many things grew, bloomed, re-seeded and now it was garden chaos! Grasses taller than everything, missing plants, yellow flowers with the purple ones! They won many battles but I am determined to end this war.

It is quite remarkable how adapted most "weeds" are: they can grow under rocks, in between the the plants you want to keep, have prickly parts to keep from being pulled out, they have seeds the fly everywhere at the merest of a touch, and they also mimic looking like plants you already have. Some weeds even try to "look pretty" and bloom.

So the kids & I are pulling and digging. I even caught myself naming some of them; prickly weed, everywhere weed, long root weed, funky leaf weed, sneaky weed, where is your root weed, etc. Yes, the sun was getting a bit warm and the madness seemed to set in quickly at this chore.

Well, after three hours of clearing, I saved about a third of the flower bed. It was time for a break. It won't ever be done. It is kind of like laundry- the basket won't be empty for long because of the clothes you are wearing. The weeds will come back now that there is more room for them to grow.

Maybe I'll just turn it into a rock garden...

MEMEMEME

2007-06-10T19:09:00.000-07:00

ME-ME
A SECRET AGENT tagged me to do this ME ME. She has this really cool “thoughtful” blog so I know she is trying to get me to be more open on these things. Here is my first “opening…” it has been edited for my comfort level.

FOODOLOGY
What is your salad dressing of choice? It varies but always on the side
What is your favorite fast food restaurant? Arby’s ( 5 items for $5.95 – I can feed myself & the kids)
What is your favorite sit-down restaurant? Chain- Olive Garden, Local -home
On average, what size tip do you leave at a restaurant? 20% or more- I get mixed up with numbers so I would rather go over then under. My work actually denied a tip from a work dinner because I put the decimal in the wrong place and actually gave a tip worth more than my dinner. No, I wasn’t drinking either and I can’t remember if he was cute or not.
What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick of? Bread
What is your favorite type of gum? Orbitz peppermint – sugarfree only

TECHNOLOGY
What is your wallpaper on your computer? Hyacinth flowers from a picture I took this weekend.
How many televisions are in your house? 2
How do you listen to music? In the car.

BIOLOGY
What’s your best feature? My eyes. They are brown and honest – you can read me easily.
Have you ever had anything removed from your body? Nope- All connected.
Which of your five senses do you think is keenest? Nose. I can smell a hockey bag a mile away or in my basement – thank goodness for summer time to air things out!
When was the last time you had a cavity? Early twenties
What is the heaviest item you lifted last? 70 pound of 10 yr old sleeping – I won’t let him think he is too big to carry anymore.
Have you ever been knocked unconscious? Can’t remember….

BULL____OLOGY
If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die? Nope. It is going to happen. “treat each day as your last..”
Is love for real? Yes. You know this if you love someone or had a pet.
If you could change your first name, what would you change it to? Sam, Charlie- a name that sounds tom-boyish.
Have you ever swallowed a non-food item by mistake? Yes – dog hair, sand always at the beach.
Have you ever saved someone’s life? No, not that I know of.
Has someone ever saved yours? I believe in guardian angels.

DUMBOLOGY
What is in your left pocket? No pocket in these pants.
Is Napoleon Dynamite actually a good movie? Never saw it
Do you have hardwood or carpet in your house? both
Could you live with roommates? My Dh is all the roommate I can handle.
How many pairs of flip-flops do you own? Two.
Last time you had a run-in with the cops? Maybe 3 years ago when I was pulled over for allegedly going 5 over the 35 speed limit. No ticket was issued – Whew!
What do you want to be when you grow up? Film with Jeff Corwin from The Animal Planet – Be part of the camera crew.
Last friend you talked to? Darcy
Last person you called? Mom

RANDOMOLOGY
First place you went this morning? Shower- No one speaks to Mother until she has had a shower to wake up.
What can you not wait to do? Be on summer break
What’s the last movie you saw? Pirates of The Caribbean 3.

Instructions are to nominate 5 blogs that I wish to bestow the "thinking" title to.
Bauerscience.com (not a blog but cool website – my colleague is way beyond me technically)
Ms. Dragonfly is quite thoughtful
A friend’s private cancer blog is quite inspiring

Instructions are to tag 5 people to participate in the MeMe.
Sorry to be strict but I don’t usually do chain letter type stuff publicly so
I am sending this on to 5 people via email and if they chose to do it they can post on their blog site. They will get the original since I deleted a few questions.