Off for a two week vacation. We are in Mexico and I have found it easy to get away & relax. The weather is great & so is the view of the mountains & lake. It is easy to see why my mother moved here, but I am a convienence gal so this will only be a vacation- nothing more.
I'll post a few pictures soon.
Saturday, June 21, 2008
Saturday, June 14, 2008
Indecisiveness
It is a disease with me, I think. I am so indecisive - it is a wonder that I ever finished college, got married, had kids, signed up for adoption, bought a house, etc
I have tons of ideas. Idea gal - that's me! Great plans and love to share then with everyone - maybe even save the world! But when it comes to act on anything- I get cold feet, too risky, suppose I fail, look stupid, do it wrong and negative thoughts like these plague me.
My summer last year was torturous. I needed to take a leave from teaching to clear the brain, regroup. I was so stressed out, it wasn't healthy. Not anything in particular- just needed a change. So belaboring over & over for months - I took a one year leave to pursue some volunteer projects to make a difference & try new skills. It was good therapy until I realized that this change left my future uncertain. Yep, I looked back. My "old" position is not available and the new one I was assigned really stinks - for me. Not my major, grade level, and extra extra work for a part timer.
So now I have to decide to keep this awful teaching assignment for one year (enough to save for China) and hope, pray, hope and pray that my old position will open up, I won't stress out again, have confidence that it will work out. Or do I leave for good and go a different venue in this terrible economic time and take risks, be more assertive, and be a bit more "uncomfortable."
My friend tells me there are not such things as mistakes...I am trying to agree but anxious about my future. I do trust that God has a path for me - it could be to learn lots of lessons the hard way - that is scary. Sure, some day I will look back and see it was no big deal - but at the moment - its very consuming. I am trying real hard to accept the changes- I am just too darn emotional & a bit high strung for some of this.
Today I say one thing - the next day another. I am like this until the deadline comes.
Can you imagine what a joy it must be to live with me????
I have tons of ideas. Idea gal - that's me! Great plans and love to share then with everyone - maybe even save the world! But when it comes to act on anything- I get cold feet, too risky, suppose I fail, look stupid, do it wrong and negative thoughts like these plague me.
My summer last year was torturous. I needed to take a leave from teaching to clear the brain, regroup. I was so stressed out, it wasn't healthy. Not anything in particular- just needed a change. So belaboring over & over for months - I took a one year leave to pursue some volunteer projects to make a difference & try new skills. It was good therapy until I realized that this change left my future uncertain. Yep, I looked back. My "old" position is not available and the new one I was assigned really stinks - for me. Not my major, grade level, and extra extra work for a part timer.
So now I have to decide to keep this awful teaching assignment for one year (enough to save for China) and hope, pray, hope and pray that my old position will open up, I won't stress out again, have confidence that it will work out. Or do I leave for good and go a different venue in this terrible economic time and take risks, be more assertive, and be a bit more "uncomfortable."
My friend tells me there are not such things as mistakes...I am trying to agree but anxious about my future. I do trust that God has a path for me - it could be to learn lots of lessons the hard way - that is scary. Sure, some day I will look back and see it was no big deal - but at the moment - its very consuming. I am trying real hard to accept the changes- I am just too darn emotional & a bit high strung for some of this.
Today I say one thing - the next day another. I am like this until the deadline comes.
Can you imagine what a joy it must be to live with me????
Monday, June 9, 2008
Crazy Dog!
Don't let that sweet looking face fool you! OOOOOHHHHH! She makes me so neurotic! Ok short trip for me but my fuse is low and I am trying to save that fragile jar of patience for my two boys who love to test that gray line.
The dog - aka called Coco - I use other words not "G" rated but she just chewed Gman's friend's sandal Crocs. So early the next morning I went up to the mall to get him a new pair. Later that day she chews Gman's shoes that were on the bed to be packed for our trip!
I cannot leave her alone in a room. She has dug craters in my flower beds, laid on the hostas to cool off, and chewed my gardening gloves (they were on a shelf in the garage) How did she get them???
The scariest part is that she still doesn't come when called. She won't bolt from the side door - but my friend left the other day out the front door and she snuck right past us!
Out into the street!
I freaked!
Our other (gentler, trained) dog ran out at a friends house & was hit by a car. So our family cannot go through this again!
I opened the car doors to see if she would jump in instead of playing run away with me in the street. I even got a piece of hot dog but by then she spotted our neighbors cat and ran after that. Luckily, we were able to trap her in the neighbor's garage. I know we need to train her on this. Hopefully this summer we can focus on this to do it right.
We decided to have her stay at a kennel while we are away. I don't want anything to happen to her while we are gone & she can be unpredictable. I had people willing to house sit but I just don't think I can relax enough when she tries to get away.
Yes, she is lovable. Stubborn. The boys adore her. But she has this independent streak in her that we are not use to. Our other German shepherd mutt mixes were a bit more needy and wanted to be near us all the time.
Just like every child is different- every dog seems to have its own personality too.
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